Where Reasons End: A Meditation

CW: This might be a hard one for some of you as there are mentions of suicide. Feel free to stop here if you need to.

Days are not the only place where we live, Nikolai said.

Time is not the only place where we live, I said.

Days are. I don’t have to have days to live now.

And yet I have to live in days, I said.

I’m sorry, he said.

Days: the easiest possession, requiring only automatic participation. The days he had refused would come, one at a time. Neither my allies nor my enemies, they would wait, every daybreak, with their boundless patience and indifference, seeing if they could turn me into a friend or an enemy to myself.

Never apologize, I said, for what you have let go.

Where Reasons End is a love letter from a mother to her dead son. She lived. He died. Same illness, different outcomes. Continue reading Where Reasons End: A Meditation

The Unsent Letter to the Modern Love Column of The New York Times

Each month, I save up my free NYT articles to be utilized solely within the modern love column. When the freebies fail to satiate me, as is often the case, I move on to their podcast which I religiously listen to on my way to school every Thursday morning. Recently, they had a college contest in which college students were asked to submit an essay on what modern love looks like for them. To no one’s surprise, I did not participate. Be that as it may, I did think about the prompt and in my own way, attempted to provide a small answer to their very big question.


It’s everything but L-O-V-E

The dreaded four letter word

It’s when the sweetest thing a guy says to you on your first date is

“Can I kiss you?”


Somewhat obvious

And yet the question you’ve never been asked before


Continue reading The Unsent Letter to the Modern Love Column of The New York Times